Verena and Jemo

I don’t know why you took dad away from us and I won’t question you why. I just want him to know where ever he is that I miss and love him so much. I can’t help myself but cry each and every night thinking how happy we would have been if he would still be alive. Writing this letter is one of the most painful things I have done. I can’t stand to hate you God. I know it’s wrong. Because you took the man I love the most away from me. Especially on the times I needed him the most. But I have no right. I have no right to complain, no right to get angry, and no right to hate you. I know you love him that’s why you took him away. You wanted to end his suffering and all the pain he has been feeling all his life. I just wish.. I just wish that you had given us more time to be with him. To have cared for him more than that of what we did.

This month of May, I offer you my life dad. It’s your birthday on the 23rd and I know that you are watching over me and know how much pain I am feeling right now. It’s so hard to have lost you dad. I can’t take the pain. IT HURTS!!! I CAN’T STOP CRYING! I HATE MY LIFE! I WANNA DIE! Until now.. I haven’t decided how to start my life without you. I don’t know how to make things right. I don’t know what to do without you by my side. Everything seems so wrong right now and it hurts me the most thinking that it shouldn’t have to be like this if you were just right here taking care of things.

Dad I still can’t stop asking the question why? Why did you leave us? Why did you let go???!!! All those promises you gave me! ALL THOSE PLANS AND DREAMS WE HAD AND MADE TOGETHER. You left me all alone! You promised me that you’ll fight till the end! But you gave up. It hurts dad. People just can’t imagine the pain I am feeling right now. I smile at them saying it’s okay when the pop up the question "how are you?". But it’s not. It has never been okay. Not having you will never be okay. You promised to attend my capping day. You promised to dance with me on my coming birthday. You promised me that we’ll go to snake island. You promised me you won’t leave me dad…

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to fulfill the promise I made to take you out of the hospital. I was so selfish and took you for granted. I blame myself for everything that has happened and feel like I am not strong enough to handle things now especially without you by my side.

Dad I love you. You know I do. I miss you very much. I can’t take it.. I can’t take it that you are gone. I haven’t moved on. I DON’T WANT TO MOVE ON. I can’t! If I do, I’ll die.

You raised me up so I can stand on mountains. You raised me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on your shoulders, you raised me up to more than I can be.

I LOVE YOU DADDY

LOVE,