Everything comes as everything in the same cycle
Saturday, September 2nd, 2006Saturday afternoon.. Doing absolutely nothing except surfing the net.. Too tired to even get up from the bed and eat lunch.. Haven’t finished not even a single requirement assigned to me.. I feel like my brains gonna explode. Nothing really changes. Everyday you go through the same cycle that you went through yesterday, only somethings come in addition. I miss home.. I miss everything back there. Things are a lot different here. It’s really hard to cope up with people which are not in the same state (literally speaking) as you are. Even though you would open up and talk to them, they’d say it’s okay and they can relate and understand what you are trying to say but everytime I look in their eyes, I can see no understanding at all. Pure anger and pain are running through my veins right now. I can’t really remember when was the last time I was really happy. I never thought that it would come to this point. Sometimes it comes to a point when you think everything’s alright then here comes another thing. It’s always the same. It never really changes. You can never really get too happy with something or someone coz there is always this one thing that comes in return. It’s a permanent cycle. As some people would say, nothing is really free in this world anymore.. I guess dreams.. but sometimes you tend to buy dreams just to have them too. It’s really tiring but I’m coping up. I’m okay. I know I can do this. One day I’ll find true happiness. Not with SOMEONE, but something or somewhere I can be really happy with. You’ll never know. Maybe it’s just within me and I haven’t really discovered it yet. It’s okay.. Things come and go.. Same like people. Never be too close with someone who is not family. You’ll never really know it with them, but also, never push a friend too far away where your hand can’t reach him/her anymore, you’ll never get them back. Never ever let someone put you down. They don’t have the right to do it. Straighten up and be numb. But not too numb because happiness won’t be able to find its way in.
